My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
