Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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