If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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