if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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