Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I touched a dick in church today
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
