One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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