I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
