I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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