Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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