HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
