Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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