I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
