How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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