btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
