I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
