I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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