Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
