Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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