Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
