haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Who died my cat blue again?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
where are my eyebrows?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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