I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
