can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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