so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
