god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
