Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
