The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
