if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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