check it out our google latitudes are spooning
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
