I just made out with a guy for $7.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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