I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
