Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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