hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I love you. Go after that dick
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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