I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
then he tried to convert me to islam
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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