im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
