If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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