I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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