I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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