Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
