Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
