this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
