batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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