Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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