i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
