I just saw a hot homeless man
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
