Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
