He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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