spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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