hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
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