I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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