I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
