Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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