Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
