She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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