My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
