PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
