Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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