Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real