Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped