In the future we'll all be gay
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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