i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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