That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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