just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
